question: from what angle do you give a hand job. im confused..
Dude. Muppets take manhattan on netflix instant. Pass my midterm or relive my childhood? Tough decision.
Just took 11th shot of tequila. I may puke in my bear head.
I'don't know who your are but its that time a day. Drunk it up. Did you buy a House for goundhogs days?
I'll never forget how blunt of a wingman you were. "Excuse me, my friend wants to makeout with someone"
how exactly do you say, "i only agreed to meet you for breakfast because i thought we could go to your place and fuck afterwards."
Let's just say that the best way to get a girls attention is not to slap her on the ass from the window of a moving cab.
Look. If you get me out of this speeding ticket you can bang my sister. Or my mom. But not both.
He ate the contents of an ashtray and didn't puke, I think he can handle drinking a fifth to himself.
Fell asleep naked on the recliner spooning with my organic chemistry book. The fact that I made it through four years of college is proof that the education system is fucked.
She said, I've heard about you, from girls you wouldn't even be interested in. What?
Make sure you plan your visit for October. That's ACL festival, it's like every Bro in the country converges on Austin. My vagina wants to go hunting.
Let's get drunk and take out your tonsils tonight
After you punched me you ran away and it took an hour to find you... On the wrong floor... Sitting alone saying "it doesnt make sense"
I'm at forever 21 and someone pooped in the dressing room.
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