put your party hat on. and by party hat I mean no panties
Say my name once during sex just to fuck with her. Like when it gets rough.
He plays me like an instrument...he is the Carlos Santana of my vagina.
every time i wear that dress i get kicked out of a bar.
I sorta feel bad for the actual person in my fake id that got a drunk in public charge.
I think "I actually like giving blow jobs better" qualifies her as a keeper
Listen, everyone has a price and mine is free taco bell.
I'm ultimately at thr Shariton to drink and ppssibly puke on fancy shit. Thats my story and Im sticking to it.
Bjs on a first date are the gateway to getting to know someone for who they really are.
There are apples in the microwave and a cup of twigs in the fridge. I think she's hiding in the pantry, I can hear her giggling. Leaving her to it.
it's not like this is the first time she's brought a guy home and I'm the one who hooks up with him
True freedom is running around a sex club in former power plant in Berlin wearing a boots, a jock
Stay calm. It's a titty bar. A ring of cocaine will protect you.
I just quoted part of the Pokemon theme song in a sext... And it worked
How is it that I know 4 different bartenders who won't charge me for drinks, but I can't get laid?
Randomize
