dude you need to get laid
me?
no, the other guy who hasn't been laid in 7 months
oh I thought you were talkin about me
wait
you sent me the whole alphabet, one letter a text. it took 15 minutes to read them all
just used a caramelizing gun to spark a bowl, i don't think today could get much better than this.
i've learned that i'm good at stealing things. like live cats.
I can trace it back to that drunken night where we peed on each other in the shower.
im failing my bio class b/c he booty calls me wednesday nights at 6 like clockwork
She asked if you knew her boyfriend, and you responded that you "think you gave him head once" and then hiccupped.
i think smoking weed in a ladies bathroom on the beach with two dudes might be the shadiest thing ive done in a while
Captain and coke. And it's not drinking alone cuz i have a dog
Sometimes I look at her and just start choking. She is that much of an evil entity.
The dicks good but it's not two trains and a bus good.
I HAVE 5 FELTING NEEDLES AND THEYRE GOING DIRECTLY INTO YOUR EYES IF YOU POST THAT SHIT
Success! We fucked roommates!
He just ate a tooth whitening strip...
Blunts beyotch
What? Joints? Blunts?
I'll refer you to my previous text: "Blunts beyotch"
Randomize
