Yes, one should always join a cult. At least once.
I bet when she looks at herself in the mirror she wishes brown paper bags were in fashion.
Pish posh, there's never a bad time to eat food off my body.
Nyc is like a mosaic of my failed dates.
Bought a water-proof vibrator. Rubber ducky is no longer the one that makes bathtime so much fun.
dude we were making out and she kept singing the americas next top model song. you wanna be on top?
i would have smoked before this dance, how ever i have surgery Monday and I looked up weed and anesthesia and fatalities was mentioned, so i decided that it would be a bad idea
probs a good idea
i like the whole idea of life and being alive
you sure you're not high?
She's legit crying about wanting more sex. Holy shit.
I've never seen a grown man cry so much after getting jerked off by a stripper. I say it's the best $600 he ever spent.
ok perfect im about to bedazzle our mini keg named hans. he is ready to rage
I just found out that I slept with Kate Gosselin's publicist back in June . Brb I have to wash myself endlessly.
What part of don't open in front of your kids didn't you understand? Astroglide, magnums, fuzzy handcuffs and a blindfold are going to be hard to explain as friends presents.
Remember those two guys in our frat that would no homo everything? I just got an invitation to their wedding.
Being drunk at Chick-fil-A is a dystopian experience
I’ve gone two rounds already this morning and I’m ready for a third. The moon is in the house of sluticus hornius.
Randomize
