i think the semi hot bartender might actually be a man in drag..on a similar note, what are you drinking?
I'm home alone watching The Hills seasons, eating pickles and drinking straight rye. I just googled "how to make friends". Probably not the most pro-active solution. Help.
Fact: Telling a guy he has erectile dysfunction doesn't solve the problem.
i dont even mind you always shaving my pubes when i pass out, i'm starting to find it liberating.
The walk of shame out of a freshman dorm isn't so bad when you're 25, nobody questions you because they think youre gonna bust them for having weed
She has a boyfriend. But if he's a decent human being he understands blowjobs don't count as cheating with her. Keeping those miracles to himself is a crime against humanity.
It was awful. Their identical twins so it was like having sex with Jeff wearing a wig and shaved legs.
I've honestly never felt so much emotion towards a wall
Wow has his pick up routine ever gotten bad. He is trying to use cheese as a way to flirt with the waitress
Oh man, he played the Harvarti cheese card and it didn't work. Now he is flailing
When God was sprinkling self control to everybody, he ran out and was like ehhhh she'll make it!
My dad slapped my ass the other day and say I was "doing the family name good". I feel...proud
I want to see a guy holding a pizza and a bottle of scotch and a box of magnums. I'm a simple woman.
i refuse to take responsibility for eating Chuck E Cheese pizza and having any other repercussions than the shits.
You use your abs way more than I realized. Btw multiple orgasms is the best thing I've ever discovered.
Oh no...did you put star fish over your nipples again?
Randomize
