Girls only wine night turned into a sloppy drunk lesbian orgy again
I just don't get it. Video games don't suck his dick.
You are colorful like whore, yet adorable, like sad puppy. You need more drink.
I think I'm finally maturing. I'm happy he found someone. Good for him. I sincerely hope she doesn't choke on his tiny penis.
My brother just woke up to see me on te couch dipping hamburger buns into pizza sauce. I'm beginning to question the life choices that led to this moment.
He wasn't lying when he said he was immune to pepperspray. He pretended it burned for like 12 seconds and told the cops he was kidding he was alright. We'll be there soon.
What's the address?
Too drunk. Just google it.
IT'S YOUR HOUSE
He's nice but I'm a one bouncer kind of girl
She stopped laughing and kind of stared at the wall for a while. Then she did 3 somersaults and said she saw jesus. This weed is fucking fantastic.
Dude random question. Where you with me when the vulture got electrocuted from the power lines and fell on the sidewalk in front of us?
Now in just stoned listening to my dads philosophical idea about public transit
Get off me. I'm done. I want a cookie.
I think the best part was the fact that the stripper's lock screen was a picture of the virgin mary
We haven't had hot water in our dorm all weekend. Do you know if there is any other way to wash off shame?
Coffee and girl scout cookies. Breakfast of champions.
Get fucked.
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