I woke up this morning with I hate myself feeling
I missed Saved by the Bell this morning, but Ashley in a later episode of Fresh Prince is keeping the morning wood alive.
Banned from zoo.
Again?
No more Irish car bombs ever.
It's never good when you wake up covered with burns
I might never shower again without beer.. I might also always drink naked
Not a single person will look me in the eye. Last night must've been bad.
MY BRAIN IS OSCILLATING. DOES THAT EVEN MAKE SENSE
I told you, she may have multiple personality disorder, but like in the most upbeat way possible.
The Wolf of Wall Street “I ain’t fuckin’ leaving!” speech when the cops broke up your party though...
I just left and he walked me out and went call me if you're ever... Eh... Whatever. And walked away.
Kind of like the new iOS 10 because I can send sexts with fireworks or confetti. Really gets the point across
On another note, I almost lost one side of my fake butt. Dancing the wobble with the fake butt isn't recommend.
Step 1: Buy a house Step 2: Turn bedroom into sex dungeon
5 seconds ago I had no idea that a fart could travel so fastly thru the tanning bed. I taste it in the back of my neck.
Randomize
