I printed and framed a picture of a seagull shitting, and hung it in my house. I'm waiting to see how long it takes everyone to notice.
i need a lesbian romance or unplanned pregnancy for some spicein my life.
The only word I understood in that whole setence was semen.
I don't care what anyone says I want strippers at my funeral.
i like being sick. whatever the doctor gave me is awesone. the walls are waving at me. i never want to get better.
I started drinking at around 8.. Started heavily drinking around 815.
Hey if there is a better reason to go drink then "I've been fucking robbed!" I have yet to hear one. Also, I've been fucking robbed.
Its not the fact that i woke up wearing a tutu that bugs me its the fact that i have 75 photos of me wearing a tutu on facebook
Honestly and this might sound scary... But I want to get high and play with weapons
we just smoked for like ten hours and got froyo. not a bad start to the weekend.
& he told me that I give the best head ever.. like can I get that on a medal?
Seeing my ex post concert Snapchat videos as an Instagram really reinforces that I made the right choice...
I am now banned from the bar... Because you got head from my ex in the woman's restroom
I just lived through a real life episode of jersey shore.
beggars cant be choosers....im desperate and he has a dick. he checks all the boxes.
Randomize
