I have found the one flaw to the great pride I took as a guy to not have to sit down to pee...having to sneeze while peeing.
Bob the builder, bob the uilder bob the builder bbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbjbbbbbiotch!pp!!!!
when im done with her im going to need you to carry me on your shoulders as i poses victoriously for all those who were within earshot
Lets get real here, ive seen your moms breasts multiple times
Here's my first problem: I'm drunk
Come get me...we were walking home and she kept yelling "people need to get run over more!" then she just sat down in the middle of the street saying "it just feels right."
They are taking turns pissing on the fire. This is my life.
Sorry about all of the penis things that happened last night.
You are the funniest drunk Jew I know. Never in my life have I witnessed someone respond, "Is your dick kosher?" while being picked-up on.
So instead of going to meet her mom, I decided to jump out of her window which was about 1.5 stories off the ground. I'm alright, but I ended up meeting her mom anyway.
Never admit to being cold at those things. That is how you end up waking up the next morning naked under animal pelts... or so I have heard.
You didn't throw up on me, you threw up on yourself and then tried to give me a hug
So.. I was kinda upset i got the bad fuck out of the situation
Well, fuck this election. I'm getting drunk, regardless of who wins.
Some sorority went “Dick or Treating” at a frat house and now the Halloween parties are canceled
Randomize
