Guess who has two thumbs, loves booze, and just dug half a handle of rumb out of a trash can in a freshmen dorm? This classy gentleman. Good day to you sir!
can you sing with all the voices of the mountain? can you paint with al the colors of the windddd
wasted?
im pocohantasssss
So I think we're almost at the age where we should start calling boys men. Now what age do they start living up to the new title?
Most never. Some around 65.
What happened to chicks over dicks?
That rule does not apply to 9 inch dicks..
Apparently I joined a band last night. Definitely my favorite blackout.
im seconds away from chugging that vodka and preforming the surgery on myself.
Whether ya want it or not, it's gonna happen. Assimilate to the gay
I'll bring your "congrats on finally banging" cookies tomorrow, I'm exhausted.
Is there a classy way to tell him that to thank him for his service I would like to put his dick in my mouth?
"Happy Veterans Day! Now pull down your pants."
sexting while watching Peter Pan the Musical! something just doesn't seem right here
Dude i'm still drunk and i'm feeding a raccoon cereal from my bedroom window
I am watching xfiles and eating microwaved cookiedough, and I see nothing wrong with it.
Its almost 1 am and u wanna get together and cry naked
How do you know i dont look like i got attacked by a weedwacker on bath salts?
The air I exhale reeks of whiskey and bad decisions
Randomize
