Solid performance last night. Wanna be fuck buddies?
It's more exciting when they aren't single....and even better when you have to pretend that you just slept with their roommate while trying to do the walk a shame as their girlfriend comes marching into the apt.
Im not the least bit jealous of the life you lead.
Just found my girlfriend's stash of animated Japanese porn
And to think, I actually considered breaking up with her
fuck that im pissed. when I come back im ripping forskin off.
I mean I had a leg brace. It would have been irresponsible for me to be on top.
we can't get the sharpie off the toilet seat from where you pressed your forearm with THUG LIFE written on it while you puked until 3 last night
God she is annoying. I am only keeping her around on fb because I want to see if her baby comes out looking like an alien or not.
i love you man. i hope we fuck some serious shit up this summer.
Why the hell did you invite him? He's gonna bring two more inches of dick and zero fun.
I can give you five reasons its your baby
and I can give you 10 reasons it's not, but I'm busy so I'll just go with you have the wrong number. And also I'm a straight girl.
There was a huge crash. I came out of my room to find you sprawled out at the bottom of the stairs in your bra and panties. You looked at me, yelled 'WHAT AM I DOING WITH MY LIFE' and then ran back into his room.
you made a mix containing mostly whiskey. then you took a sip, gagged and yelled "perfect!"
Watching a guy masturbate in real time is a lot less theatrical than porn had me to believe.
Grateful to be alive soliciting dick pics. Thankful i'm alive for these little things and especially these big ones too.
It's next to that place that has cock fighting.
Randomize
