Shes cool when Im fuckin smashed.....Sober.....She suuuuuuuuuuucks
It doesn't have to be a walk of shame...just pretend he took you to breakfast.
No one shows this much boob at breakfast
does my mom think that having an ed hardy lighter is going to get her laid?
I decided to name her "day after thanksgiving" because I am sure I just got someone elses leftovers.
I should never bitch about not getting laid. He's begging me to come over and I'm saying no because I'm watching a Golden Girls marathon.
i'm at the st pattys day thing. the bar is packed. they just put on celine dion its all coming back to me now. i'm screaming the words.
it's 1 pm.
The cop only confirmed I'm .22% Irish. Then I threw up on him.
i was getting a blow-job tonight in the mens bathroom of a bar and the bouncer comes in and says "bro i don't mean to cock block but you cant do that here."
Fat lady wearing Shape Up's. I would feel bad making crude comments, but she has to know it's coming.
Okay, thats embarrasing even by my standards and I've thrown up while wearing a viking hat. just a viking hat.
Hungover. Have to fix everything I've broken. I'm gonna be very late.
I had sex in the back of a hot foreign guy with a lacoste eye patch's car
Why the HOLY HELL is my dog on my roof??? Sam?? Why is the dog wearing my pants
Let's not forget that we had sex on the ground in public tonight.
He ate me out for my sailor moon manga and I gave him a blowjob for his Devilman manga. Pretty sweet deal imo
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