I love you!
You're insane
Fuckin crazy man! Seriously though I think if you would have me I honestly seriously think about marrying u!
Alright now lets video chat so I can xshow u my dick! Hahahaha
i jus seen this fat chick walk buy look like she had don king coming out her arm pits..
i think the world will end when pigs can fly. think about it, everyone says blah blah when pigs fly. so shit would be going down if they ever can.
oh fuck your right
I'm beginning to think I'm sterile because I definitely should be pregnant by now.
If a young child walked up to you and grabbed your penis, you'd feel violated too.
You handed me a red solo cup filled with vodka and Bacon. You called it the salty Russian.
On duty sugar tits. A Marine never abandons his post to take nudi pics.
In sex ed. they really need to include a lesson on saying tampon in foreign languages, just in case.... Trying to ask the woman at the reception desk, who barely speaks English, for one just turned into an awkward game of charades.
I think you're my mermaid sister. Separated at birth, by sea.
Yeeeaahhh, I'm in no rush to dismiss a level 6 booty-call that pays my bar tabs and understands my Harry Potter obsession.
I'm bonding with your girlfriend. I like her. We're plotting your demise.
I wore his All-American medal during sex. I came in first that night.
He didn't even get to the first chorus of Hotel California before he started convulsing on top of me.
I just used my sisters cheerleading plaque and a children's book to crush up painkillers to snort. Happy Friday
I am getting off work an hour early just to watch you drink. Never let it be said that I don't love you.
Randomize
