One of my boys faked an orgasm while fucking a girl tonite, w/ out wearing a condom mind you.
She caught him, and immediately put her clothes on and left.
cruising supermarkets, asking random people where i can get weed. fuck alaska
At the miami airport. Don't know if it's all the tequila I drank in cozumel or the 5 year olds french accent but I might puke.
Well regardless of where or with who you will be blacking out and i will be pouring shots down ur throat like a baby bird
We did however see an 87 year old guy die and get resuscitated last night at the bar. He then finished his beer and his game of pool.
He just laughed at his drink laid on the floor and crawled to the bathroom
Haga you didnt jbsii whee wu an therer
Party on wayne
It's a hurricane, not a zombie apocalypse. WHY DID YOU BUY SHOTGUNS?!?!
Can we put this graduation on the shelf figuratively and go drink
I woke up with a bloody knee, 6 burn marks on my thigh and glitter nails If anyone asks I'm going to say You came into town
All I've done today is nap, eat candy and get off from my vibrator. I didn't know it was possible to be THIS single.
It's days like today that make me happy I'm not a porn star.
Honestly the prospect of dick really lifts a girl's spirits
i can believe you didnt get any, i was wing-girling the shit out of him
all you did was repeatedly scream GET IT IN
I hate waking up to a room that reeks of bad decisions...
Randomize
