I fink we're distracting them from bumping the proverbial uglies
Pretty sure my dad just walked in on me jerking off watching guys on webcam. Remember how I used to say "most awkward day of my life?" I'm retiring that phrase.
Everything we own is covered in grass and KY
this stripper weighs a pound. I feel like I should tip her in food.
We're learning about the color wheel. Hello college.
Man, jail baloney is awful.
I'm sure it was awkward. I've never had a professor expose parts of them to me before.
Some guy just stopped me in the bar and asked if I had a shot named after me at another bar called God damn my VaJana hurts? He already knew my name was Jana so I couldn't deny it!
Oh it's tea and biscuits for everyone. An possibly pink eye
This whole having a new phone thing is like starting all over in life with a clean slate! (My old text convos are gone)
New phone new life!
I was so high I could TASTE the fillings in my teeth
i told you i was taking the Metra Train, and you asked what type of drug that was.. so yes i believe you when you say you were fucked up
Wine through a straw in a subway cup.....classy
He licked me while I ate pretzels and chips. I was really living my best life.
Do you recall asking me to zip line through your wedding dressed as a bleeding angel?
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