Did you hit it?
Turns out she was a he. but to answer your question, yes.
I like how you refer to peeing in the car as "super cute"
After 4 hours of foreplay he passed out and almost immediately peed in my bed. Naked. Like a fountain. Then tried to deny it in the morning by saying he just sweats a lot.
never let anyone you met on skype borrow your car. lesson learned.
Let's cut to the chase. What days are we sleeping together this week?
I don't remember much, but my night is dated pre-Jaeger and post-Jaeger. Also, my boss may or may not have tucked me in.
Would it be sharing too much to tell you that my nipples hurt so much that I couldn't comfortably go down the stairs?
Its a first. Never been peed on in a line to concert. First time for everything.
She kept telling me it was a squirtgun.
She was to tired for head so she opted for a footjob with poor results. I dont want to talk about it
hes that one kid that offered to spoon after staring at me for 5 minutes
THE EAGLE HAS MY PANTIES. I REPEAT. THE FUCKING MASCOT HAS MY PANTIES.
HOLY SHIT. You're my hero.
I've started drunk signing up for 5ks. Who even does that?
i may or may not have bought a plane ticket for a russian cam girl to fly here. also, can you spot me $300 on rent?
im looking at the positives. number one it stopped me from hooking up with vince infront of his girl, number two it gave me something to do instead of throwing up and number three i fuckin rocked his world
I think it's a bit on the nose for the Uber driver to play stairway to heaven while driving like A psycho.
Randomize
