I think i sorta joined a cult last night
And my awkwardness continues. I felt the need to send him a text that said roar. I did it.
jack dropped his pants and said "bet u've never seen a dick this big." which was really sad cuz i had never actually seen one that small...you have like pinch it between ur thumb and pointer finger to give a HJ
It's not true, it's not true! She's too full of cheese to have sexy time!
you kept slapshing your drinks on people saying the power of christ compels you.
Can we fast forward to the part where we get gyros
Somebody spraypainted a transformers head on a transformer box..my life is complete
splinters make it hard to masturbate
My dinner was lean cuisine and tequila. Aaaaaand I need a boyfriend.
Santa brought me a 1.75 of wine, and a liter of patron. I probably won't remember Christmas, so don't ask me how it was tomorrow.
First roommate to find me and dance with me will live. Battle Royale.
If your plan is to re-bang every girl you banged in high school - you're gonna need a spread sheet and clip board.
He left his cock-ring in my truck.
Consider it a gay sex souvenir.
Yeah. I woke up in an awkward three way spoon with him and his sister. Tequila!
random boy in my bed. last night wasnt a dream. fuck.
Randomize
