Don't judge me. It was less weird than it sounds when we were in the moment and it was his birthday
You never go ass to mouth. That's quite possibly the most important rule Paramedic school has taught me.
M WATCHING THE HISTORY CHANNEL AND IT SAID THAT WHEN THE LUST PART OF THE BRAIN IS ACTIVATED THE JUDGEMENT PART IS NOT. THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
We started hooking up and a group of freshmen outside my window started chanting my name. Encouraging yet distracting
Drunk wheelbarrow races might make the top 10 list of dumb shit weve done. Especially considering all the broken glass around...
Just KTHXBAIed an old man for staring at me
"too many" and "free shots" never belong in the same sentence
It's 10AM, she's drunk blaring veggie tales and I have a paper to write you've got to be fucking kidding me
I can't even tell you how many rave sticks I tore apart with my teeth last night.
IDK DUDE BUT HE TIED IT WITH A SHOELACE SO I GOTTA FREE SHOELACE OUTTA THE DEAL. THIS GIVES A NEW MEANING TO LACED DRUGS
You don't understand. If you watched a video of the shenanigans that occurred in my life over the past 48 hours you would gasp worse than the girl who witnessed me puking in my bag at the children's hospital
Walk of shame dressed as a Christmas tree, it happened. Ho ho ho bitches
Lmfao. We asked what you wanted to eat and you said vagina. I don't care what kind. Fresh, barbecue, roasted on a camp fire. I just want it on my taste buds.
I'm so bored I talked to the Bible guys for 30 minutes.
I offered them beer last time they came here bahaha
I’m traumatised. Bring vodka and condoms.
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