I am not having having sex with guys at the moment.
I can pretend to be a girl if you want. I have a tongue.
Is masturbating to pics of your ex on Facebook considered cheating?
You are proof that most things are best left unsaid.
Why are you covered in frosting?
Friend's birthday situation turned into enlightened cake orgy.
but he gave me mouthwash after the bj. no ones ever done that for me before.
I am nonfunctional stoned. I had to ask ben to put me somewhere away from all the people I'm sitting on someones bed watching a wall. Not alright. Should not have come.
please come upstairs a drunk asian is lying down n the middle of my room and i don't know him
that is terrible, if I can't drink Gatorade when I'm hungover I don't wanna live in this world. that's like denying wild rams to run free in the wild and frolic
How do you tell a woman that you are seeing that the scars on your back are from her awesome-in-bed little sister?
I wouldn't marry anyone who wouldn't symbolically fuck a doughnut with a sausage though.
Stay strong! Remember we're too uncoordinated to be strippers to make money instead of being a nurse
Made out with some dude at the bar last night. Was fun until he thought bohemian rhapsody was by The Who
If you binge watch Bill Nye Saves the World without me you can consider yourself single
He was like 120 lbs and 20 of that was penis
I’m pretty sure I have teeth marks on my neck
he had to stop me from eating snow off the street on the way back to pick up our cars. that's how hungover i am.
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