Sorry you had to hear me puke. I didn't know I called you. Was it graceful?
I feel like Tiger Woods should send Jesse James a gift basket or something...
How do you tell someone they are only invited if they put out?
You were in the garage half naked counting your ribs and talking about how you had too many
malibu coconut giveth, and malibu coconut taketh away
The fact that both my ribs are severely bruised from shoving flasks in my bra might be a validation of my mothers alcoholic accusation
As payment for all the times you have babysat me while im drunk, im giving you the shorts i stole from the guy i stayed with on friday night. They're clean. Come get em.
Then you shook your fists at the sky and explained to us that losing a sneeze is like losing an orgasm
It was literally 8 o'clock in the morning. His horniness knows no bounds.
I completely forgot about the posting of partying pics shortly after adding my gma my dad was like grandma says your all over fb but she doesn't know how to use it. Of course I'm all over her fb. She's got 6 friends I am her newsfeed
The porch is breathing.
STAY OUT OF MY SHROOMS YOU CUNT
I don't know. I wanna do you but I also want a cheeseburger.
Currently watching Zombie Sharks while high. This is why I love Shark Week.
He legit watched "Cops" the entire time he was fingering me.
No just a list of 20 of my favorite things
Where are penises on the list
Where am I on the list
Under penises
Randomize
