brad dismisses pussy with prejudice
I don't know. The next thing I remember we were in the walmart parking lot making out.
i'd be lying to you if i said i didn't just bring up microsoft excel to make an alcohol budget
I'll put it this way. My grandkids felt that fuck.
I can't believe we just used the phrase "jizz to juice ratio" in casual conversation.
have the fact that the early bird is danced upon by the prettiest strippers be your motivation
No dude I got way too drunk to function. 90% sure I tried to FaceTime 911.
Talk about an dramatic entrance, girl rolled up on a stolen bike and was wearing heels and a dress, through it on the ground and said "you guys want a bike?" Of course i jumped on that shit, any sane person would!
The band last night was really good
That was definitely karaoke. Guess that answers my follow up question on how drunk you were.
Is there some sort of line being crossed when your shower activities start to involve jimmy johns?
You have got to be the only man who has passed out while getting a lap dance.
I kept telling you not to give them blowjobs, but you kept screaming back, "it's okay, we're friends on facebook!"
He totally fucked me in his Chewbacca socks
Alan said you can come over and eat me out anytime you want, as long as we give him enough notice to hide in the closet before we arrive
Can you cover for me after lunch? I’ve never seen a guy who cums as much as my new Side Dick so now I need to clean the house before my husband gets home
Randomize
