i got a mint flavored condom from wellness day...im kind of tempted to taste it
took out my tampon, fucked him, and put a new one back in all before he realized I was on my period. beat that one bitch.
They're making scrambled eggs at 2 in the morning... with rum
He posted a picture of my bra on facebook with the caption "I don't know who I hooked up with last night but if this is yours please come pick it up".
And yes, in case u were wondering a 25 year old high school agriculture teacher did just hit on me At Walmart bc of my pinata
Valuable lesson learned: if you reach the point where you have to talk yourself in to finishing the last half of your beer, you shouldn't try.
I told you he wasn't attractive.
Do you think I cared? I was wiping myself with a scarf..
Condoms and Ice Cream, that's all we need.
I was so close to going to get my nipples pierced with my mom today
Me and mom just bonded over our mutual desire to bang Mark Ruffalo. I'm not sure how to feel about this.
NO. NONE OF THAT. SHAME ON YOU.
oh i see... well this is a positive first step in you courting him for sex.
He literally shoved the EMT, climbed in the back of the ambulance with his vodka and was like, "C'mon, people. Wrap this up. I got shit to do."
I did what i always do when i miss him; masturbate and watch Bridges of Madison County.
The smell of pee and coconut conditioner still makes me think of him
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