Does adding vodka to a protein shake defeat the purpose?
He proposed that we "bone". I've completely given up on boys.
This guy just showed us his webbed feet to prove that his son was actually his son
christmas break will be like the 25 days of orgasms
Tell your boss that he's keeping you from eating a fuck sundae off of these 36-24-36 34 D's waiting for you at home on Valentine's Day.
This morning I learned I traded my sunglasses for a Big Lebowski sticker at the football game.
After a certain point, you just want to make it work. Prove to yourself that you're smarter than the vibrator.
a pansexual with facepaint started fucking a tall black girl on the bed i was sitting on so im going to mcdonalds
the girl peeing in the stall next to mine has really cute shoes. on a scale of 1 to restraining order, how weird would it be to compliment them from in here?
You threw up on yourself mid conversation with your mom and then told her a girl at the party puked on you.
It got heated then she just left and I was all alone in the women's restroom.
We could have had it all. And by all I mean sex in your Toyota Corolla.
I'm at a loss. By loss I mean singing songs from Wicked and pretending I'm at the Oscars
Timehop reminded me that 4 years ago today I helped a one armed man do the YMCA by being his other arm.
It's like a donut of clothes around a pair of heels. Like they were transported to another dimension naked.
Randomize
