OMg patrick swayze is the sexuest man he is killing me I'm gonna get dehydrated if I don't stop looking at him
I dint menn to makr ut w brtendr
Wat???
U lft me at bar, no cassh for cab, may have slept with bartender
News update: stealing a playground is harder than it looks.
My dad just knocked on my door and told me that my vibrator was too loud
I just saw two girls throwing up in the bathroom. they were high-fiving under the stall...
you have a cum towel under your bed, you're the definition of single
Dude you make losing your phone an art. You left it balancing on a two liter bottle in the kitchen. Wtf
Registered sex offender is the model in class today.... There are too many things wrong with him getting naked in front of a lot of college students.
With your fertility you would just get contact pregnant
I mean I'm into guys with money but more into guys I'm actually attracted to
yeah i guess i'd rather he was hot than rich
wow i don't know if that qualifies as growing up but if it does i'm all in
Fuck these runners passing me on campus as I'm waking to dinner. With my huggie. With flavored vodka and rum. Aka yum
be right there i have to get my cape
The cop looked me right in the eye and apologized for cock blocking me.
So pro tip. do not order drugs from india and then assume you know your tolerance level.
I just want a guy who will spank me, fuck me, then take me to my office xmas party. I'd that too much to ask?
Randomize
