So, how was the dinner
Just like the ex wife, cold, fatty, and expensive.
I woke up this morning in your mom's car... any ideas?
All semester I have been trying to figure out if this kid in front of me is gay. His cell phone just went off with Britney's "Circus". Case closed.
It wasn't until i was on my knees with three dicks in my face that i thought it might be a bad idea
1.) You left the rest of your whiskey here 2.) I drank your whiskey 3.) then made a steam roller out of the bottle 4.) Everything tastes like whiskey
you told the cab driver to stop being such a pussy because he wouldn't let you shotgun a beer in the backseat
I made out with all three roommates...I didnt realize that was actually an awkward situation.
And I feel bad.
Because we're having a serious discussion about our sex life and you're playing minecraft?
Thought it only fitting this Jubilee weekend to snort lines with a 50 note
Your patriotism amazes me, the Queen would be proud!
after further investigation i found out he's a little bit married..
Oh, honey. If you're seeing a girl just for the sex, never doubt that she knows and she's doing the same thing. We're not stupid, we're just craftier than you.
I guess your brother-in-law will have his day in the sun tonight after you leave. By that, I of course, mean he's gonna suck liquor milk out your sister's tits.
Fuck him and his perfect arms, huge penis and relentless ability to ignore me.
you should probably call the Bronx Zoo in the morning to formally apologize
its the right thing to do
congratulations on joining the accidental bisexual club
Randomize
