She got kicked off the plane and spent the last four hours in a holding cell with the feds.
but she's really nice
Sometimes your consistent use of proper punctuation makes me nervous D:
Does it bother you that I left your underwear hanging in a tree at the zoo? i think the turtles are enjoying it.
You know your in college when you decide house chores with games of beer pong...
My cousin just asked what abortion is. Happy Holidays.
I actually had to roll up my long sleeves to masturbate. I hate the winter
If you value my life, if you value your own, please look for that godforsaken cookie. Please.
My signature move is making guys wonder why they bothered in the first place
He's hot, you can get laid, and you may get free drugs. It's the trifecta of banging a drug dealer
Also, fucking on half deflated air mattresses is a great full body work out.
Dad smells like hangovers and 65 years of bitterness
Chick in the kitchen making breakfast.. Yours or mine?
woke up this morning to a baggy full of adderall and two redbulls..i'm gonna marry this guy one day
Dude i woke up today by a pile of fried chicken and wearing a bra
.......stop going to frat parties....
He ate me out while I stood on his bed drinking a Rainier.
Randomize
