She was giving me great head...... until I asked her how much this was going to cost.... she left abruptly
Numbies before the dentist, such a good idea.
I ate goldfish off your shoulder, I think we had bigger issues
And after getting thrown out of the frat house, getting carried up the hill for a half an hour, puking 5 times, and almost getting stopped by campus security, she still insisted he sleep with her. Gotta give her credit, even blacked she kept her eyes on the prize
Guess I'll put him on my to-do list too. But closer to the bottom since we dated before. That's almost unethical.
Today has been like a snow day for your boobs. No rules, just doing whatever they want.
Didn't get carded at the bar. We're getting wasted and then walking over to Bass Pro Shops to watch the indoor ducks swim around. And possibly buying a tent.
How many band members does it take to become The Band Slut? I think I might be dangerously close
I know you're very busy with sleep and things, but when you wake up we need to talk about weirdly shaped penises.
Nothing like the judgmental looks you get in the bathroom when you still have last night's glowsticks on
I think i'm the first person to get kicked out of a club while completely sober. Come outside please!!
If Denver makes it to the Super Bowl I'll quit drinking. So I'm pretty much stocking up on booze
I went to my AA meeting last night. My drug dealer is now my counselor.
Apparently I gave a guy a hand job on the dance floor. ON THE DANCE FLOOR.
I just had a morning three-some with marijuana and a detachable shower-head
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