I cant wait for the day that I tell my daughter I named her after my favorite porn star.
once he started yelling at me in latin, i wasn't sure what we were fighting about anymore...
you should buy a sheep. A) you get an awesome pet. B) free coat
I just heard an old guy ask the chick he was with if she wanted to try ass to mouth...
thanks for that.
winter break is going to suck... i have to put away my college personality and transform into who my parents think i am.
I've had enough of this chick, she wanted to cuddle after giving me a handjob. I feel like I'm in junior high
it's 8 a.m. and there are people having sex at the foot of the strangers bed i'm in. the guy just asked the girl how she lost her baby weight so fast.
there was 12 of us, girls included, shirtless and wielding swords as we bet on rock paper scissors in the middle of the bar. It was like Cinco de Mayo version of the Deer Hunter
Oh my God. He stopped counting at 22.. His senior year. I feel the STDs infecting my taint as we speak.
how bad is she
captain morgan with tits
There are 18k people at the game and I'm next to the one guy who pulls his underwear down to his ankles to piss.
I'm hiding in a cabinet. I'm going to stay here.
I totally straight up jacked your pants. I am so sorry.
I'm giving head in a stairwell, I'll be back in a few minutes. I'm so ashamed.
Only in the emergency room do they shut the door when youre laughing too hard
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