I'm cheating on the girl I'm cheating on my girlfriend with
We got so high yesterday we tried watching soccer
sitting in room practicing taking shots. has my life come to this?
You may see me on espn tomorrow drunk, half naked, and selling articles of clothing to rich cougars like i did last year, but i will NOT be drinking shitty beer
I just found out I lost my virginity the same day my parents did, 25 years later. This is my life.
he doesn't even text me anymore.. he just facebook chats me a shark emoticon which has turned into code for 'be naked at my house in 15 mins'
At some point you realize they're vacuuming and you still have to sober up. Please find me a boyfriend thanks .
Remember that time you came over to my house and I was on the porch naked and eating peanut butter?
The point remains that this is the setup for some great stories
Or terrible, horrifying, traumatic experiences
great clearly means different things to us
Just saw the trailer for Spike Lee's version of Oldboy. They filmed a lot of it in A's building so like every scene features a place where I had or almost had sex. If oral counts then pretty much every scene.
I should come with a disclaimer that reads "bad at relationships and defensive when confronted about it"
or maybe "WARNING: picks fights when bored"
I just wanna get hammered somewhere crazy. Meet some chicks. Bang them and then go scuba diving.
So why exactly are your shoes in my freezer?
You're at a grade school volley ball game with a yeti of tequila. You've passed extra
I couldn't have possibly been that bad
You had her flip the penny over to the lucky side before you picked it up and ate it...
Randomize
