But never have I ever had sex with a dirty talker before, so it was something else, to say the least. I signed up to get laid, not play Penthouse Mad Libs.
I couldn't tell if he was hitting on me or if he was just mentally challenged.
They had a "who can aim further away from the toilet" contest. I'm now washing piss off my ceiling.
You threw a bunch of trashcans into the middle of the street and nothing happened. I fell on one car and suddenly there were cops everywhere...
I thought he wouldn't talk to me again. You know, what's that saying "why buy the cow when you can fuck it six hours after meeting"
I don't think it counts as a walk of shame when it's someone you've wanted for 4 years. That's mission accomplished.
She only spoke Russian, but she was so gorgeous it didn't matter
Oh. I think she ate all the cake and took our vodka...still gorgeous.
You mAke me stone. Stone fuck fucking stoned. I'm an stoned you cuz now fucking stoned stoned fucking stoned I stone.
Just told my boss I wasn't coming in to work because of a serious case of blue balls. Totally made having them worth it.
why are there 3 differently sized panties on our kitchen counter?
When he mumbled "I can't feel my legs," proceeded to stand, fall over, and just lay there I knew I'd given great head...
i black out too much to be "responsible"
I'm the one who said we should take things slow. I'm also the one who forced him into the back on my car so we could have sex.
Nothing says hangover like being in the doctors office getting a tampon removed from deep inside
Like sorry your dick won’t suck itself?
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