Hooked up with my old baby sitter last night, so what do I do? As I was sucking her tits I decided it would be a good idea to say " goo goo gah gah"....it wasn't a good idea.
If u were an xman, what would ur power be? I would shoot lasers from my boobs.
is it just my freshly shaved vagina or is the guy at the end of the table pretty cute??
I've developed breathing exercises to keep myself from puking..
got so drunk i was kicked out of my own birthday party and tried taking a bottle of vodka with me
sticking your hands in the toilet to wash your face is not acceptable. ever. i don't care how drunk you are.
we just finished a porn and sex toy shopping spree. this is the fun part of "being serious"
Rachel and his cat watched us 69 last night. I pretended to be embarrassed the next day... But to be honest I like an audience
Like really my mothers day gift is a pic of his dick
tonight were gonna drink champagne and watch girls put themselves in awkward position
I want to get business cards and hand them to hot guys and say " hey if you ever want to like makeout and pretend it never happened call me"
Someone keeps hanging up bible verse posters in the bathroom stall I masturbate in at work.
Just paid for birth control in all ones do you think she is judging me?
No, he wouldn't have sex with me....but on the brightside I managed to fit the entire falafel sandwhich in my purse!!
You're lucky I just like fucking you because you would really suck at being a boyfriend.
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