Stop it. You sound like you're giving birth.
The pick up line I used was "Grab my sack, you'll be back." Then I winked at her.
So does it count as really great road-head if he ran over 3 mailboxes before realizing he was off the road?
My drunk body wants to fuck you so bad, but my high mind is telling me it's too much work. I think I'm just gonna stay home and eat some Mac and cheese. Sorry.
ive decided something. ive accepted you as being gay. but i havent accepted you as a vegetarian yet.
the elusive kegmastree, who's mystery is only exceeded by it's power
She handed me her tooth and asked me to hold it so she could swim.
Hey if there is a better reason to go drink then "I've been fucking robbed!" I have yet to hear one. Also, I've been fucking robbed.
I hope your pay increase has gone through because I might need bail. This is not what I dreamed adulthood would be like.
As a matter of fact, I am on the treadmill with the Bottle of UV Blue as we speak.....
Already at the river; already getting fucked up. And yes that semicolon is legit because those are congruent statemests
If you got tons of KY ads on HuluPlus, it's because I hit "relevant" every time.
Not good... He ate my chips. Thats not a sex analogy for anything. My actual potato chips... gone. I lost on both ends.
it doesn't matter what you do now, you will forever be known as the girl who fell off the roof
nooooo! we need to brain storm. I need rebranding....what if I start always showing up with my cat or a wacky hat?
try again roofio
His wife isn’t coming to the wedding! I’ve got 48 hours to home wreck him. Gotta go, I have to shave my vajayjay and buy some really slutty underwear. Love you!
Randomize
