Random question, how's your gag reflex these days
he showed me his boner with his cell phone light during the movie.
Single handedly the worst sex I've ever had just went down. Its like we both laid there after word-less thinking about the other " could they be any worse in bed" ?
I'm sitting on the patient chair, waiting for my vagina to be violated & "i don't want to miss a thing" has been playing on repeat. WHY IS THIS HAPPENING TO ME.
We are taking shots off of spoons and listening to Mary Poppins.
this is what happens when you pick a roommate a year in advance.. she ends up hating you for hooking up with for of her extended family members
ALWAYS CAPS LOCK. IS THERE EVER A SITUATION THAT DOES NOT CALL FOR CAPS LOCK? NO.
Sexting? Sexting in caps lock seems rather unnerving.
I WANT YOUR BODY AND I WANT IT NOW.
I rest my case.
I know, my friend Erin took me into the bathroom at work and poured pickle juice on me.
Also, do you think i could get away with finishing my vodka cranberry from last night at work if i put orange juice in it? Serious question.
For the first time in my life, I may be the most normal person in the room.
Update: I am definitely the most normal person in this room. And the least tattooed.
I've just had my first cup of coffee in a month and I moaned at the first drink and honestly I think this is the most sexual expreiance in 6 months
So, my eyeglasses somehow ended up in my nightstand drawer and they're covered in lube.
And with one simple text you can separate the men from the boys...."it's that time of the month."
And now, by the power vested in me by the state of intoxication, I now pronounce you fucking awesome.
She is either doing really drawn out crunches or trying to sniff her boobs...She's lying on her back with her hand behind her head, forcing her head into the cleavage that's ok to expose and then moves her head back and then does it again.
Randomize
