shouldn't i get a discount if shes pregnant?
Roman Polanski is more welcome at my daughter's birthday party than you are at that bar
that knocking you heard last night......that was her head slowly going through the wall
so its official, girls can see a boner through my snuggie.
it's like a replay of two fridays ago...except not in a motel and i'm not having sex in the shower.
The bartender just told me he would have me face down in his pillow by the end of the night. I hate when you make me go to gay clubs.
Just break the ice by asking who had to take plan b this past semester
That sucks about the drama. But hey, it's always a good day when you see someone get tazed!
You got into a heated argument about Frankenstein's intelligence while double fisting burritos from taco bell.
So are we just not going to talk about the time I came home to you jerking it in the kitchen?
That is cause you are some weird type of mutant that lives off of Alcohol.
In an unrelated matter, im gonna eat you out so much later.
The hat, the beard, the hard posing - like who does he think he is?
A bag of dicks
That's dating life
THAT HOSPITAL MADE ME REALIZE THAT I'M BISEXUAL
I'm setting goals and achieving them. I'd say I'm quite mature for my age.
You're goal was to fuck him and you don't even remember it.
Randomize
