margs and chips and queso make the world go round
well and inertia
it was a shit show
We all have our days. But yours might be on the internet.
she was mega hot - except for the poop under her fingernails
he put a lighter in my cleavage and said "you're like another pocket!"
as much as i want to say no i cant cause i need the trophy wife training
You think posting ushers "let it burn" video on his fb page is in bad taste? haha
I believe its time to stop celebrating Thanksgiving. I've been drunk for over a week. If my liver doesn't give out, and I'm not pregnant I will truly have something to be thankful for.
You were on the drunk bus swinging around on the pole when you decided you were hungry, so you pulled half a bagel out of your pants and ate it. Everyone stared at you, dumbfounded as to where it came from, and cheered
When you text me tomorrow to remind me to mail your parking pass, also remind me to make sure i did NOT pack my vibrator for this family vacation
He is nice. Kind of short though. But didn't try to rub his jean cock on me.
Which I appreciated.
Mom called last night while I was at the bar and asked where I was. I told her I was on the highway to the danger zone while the guys were humming the top gun theme.
The house hit rave levels when La Bamba came on which confuses me because I live in white suburban Canada
PARA BAILAR LA BAMBA ASSHOLES
He's hot, you can get laid, and you may get free drugs. It's the trifecta of banging a drug dealer
I gave him a bj as a thank you for helping. I think that's good.
He lit my hand on fire and bought me chicken nuggets. I'm in love.
Randomize
