you kept telling everyone that you were the mayor of silverware town
my quiz for the book was only 2 questions and my one answer was sorry and then a sad face
She went dumpster diving. Found flourescent light bulbs, carpet samples and $15. We got a bottle of Popov, played star wars and threatened random people with the carpet. Get on our level.
Still trying to wash and scratch the glitter off of my dick. That stripper should be banned.
Snuck into a camper in someone's yard. Hotboxing. Can't wait until they go in it.
It was smashing those cupcakes into my face that did it. Junk food and I don't mix.
I'm so hungover. I just keep eating the otter pops I'm trying to use to get rid of my hickies.
THINK! exactly how many raw eggs did you color and hide in my apt.
Seriously, I woke you up with tacos, I think I deserve the best girlfriend ever award
Literally just saw a 7 year old intently rub his penis on the metro. I'm not ready for this
I just really don't even know what I would do with a boyfriend... Like do I just kiss it and then leave it in the corner? Like how often does it eat??
he just got here with a handle of tequila and box of condoms. looks like i'll be spending the weekend in bed
I'm stuck on a cliff. I'm not sure how I got here or how to get down. Please send help. And clothes.
he just kept biting everyone and singing hilary duff songs. i can't even bring him to a gas station.
i just read a article called "Booze, Drugs, and Bipolar Disorder"... i think someone is writing the memoirs of my life
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