fuck the hobbit
what about unicorns?
fuck those pointy horses
I learned his name tonight. This now makes him a real person. Obviously, I no longer want to sleep with him.
Just used my last prints at the library for brackets instead of final reviews. Hello March.
dont worry, it'll just be a conversation starter like "why did you get that pierced?" or "wow, i got arrested there too"
I just fell off my chair and knocked over the table. People are staring. That hungover.
he kept asking me if i had been in a pool or a lake recently, i didnt want to say i know where the swimmers ear came from. shower sex.
She washed her feet in the sink at white castle. I want this girl in my life.
I noticed how good my hair still looked. Apparently rum and coke in it helps it stay curly thru sex. May be using this more often.
I was rolling balls and tried to donate blood as an act of kindness to the sick person who would receive it
Must say, as a couple, she and I are thrilled that our pretend lesbianism has paid off.
Let's stay in this weekend and play drinking games to the Winter Olympics.
As long as we can drink anytime we see a stray dog, mafia looking Russian or double toilet.
So he came on my stomach this morning and I totally forgot about it until after you poured that body shot.
I woke up with your vibrator in my face
All I remember is while we were making out M.A.A.D City came on so I pushed him off of me so I could rap along.
you must be at least a level 5 friend to unlock my sexual orientation
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