He said we were driving the golf cart through the woods screaming 'iceroad truckers' for four hours in the dark
We learned about herpes today in bio. I might as well have given the lecture
I'm having post traumatic stress flashbacks of last night. That big. Don't know whether to call him again or change my name...
stephanie tanner's voice is so fucking annoying. no wonder she resorted to crystal meth.
i can recognize that vagina from a mile away
Yeah. she rolled up to the party on a unicycle then peed in the bushes. TA of the year.
I see you've set aside this special time to humiliate yourself in public.
The only thing worse than being arrested is the fact the cop confiscated my green dinosaur costume.
It's like the bermuda triangle of cat puke
we were hooking up and then he goes "you can touch my penis" and i laughed too hard to do anything. no second date.
I can't ever date him again. Whenever I see his face I just remember helplessly pissing myself in my car.
WHEN DO I FOLLOW THESE PEOPLE. I WOKE UP THIS MORNING &FOUND TWEETS FROM ILLUMINATI AND "hot shot 6th grader"
Drunk dialed the ex last nigh; turns out I miss dialed. The stranger who answered played along and apologized for sleeping with my cousin. She sent me a txt this morning to let me know.
Kindest stranger ever. Marry that girl.
I just told my mother my "if there are drugs I'm only taking them if I don't have to pay" rule and witnessed her perception of my shatter and crumble behind her eyes.
Someone made a Christmas song to the Flintstones theme and I'm suing for emotional distress.
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