Is it gay to rub my penis between my butt cheeks and pretend that they're tits?
Wow! You need to get laid.
our drinking schedule never changed, we just drank at work.
Semi hypothetical question. Do you think its physically possible to bruise your clit?
his penis is PERFECT
I want to put it in a shoebox and place cottonbls around it to protect it from any harm
or knit it little hat
Ahhh November 1st. National Untagging Day
i'm exhausted. do you know how hard it is to put together an outfit that is professional enough to secure a babysitting job yet slutty enough to let him know i'm down for sex during naptime?
Why do i feel like Captain Hook just gave me a pap smear?
Probably twitter. Never underestimate a psycho girl with wifi
All I am going to say is this: I woke up with lots of bruises on my knees from running around on all fours being a 'dinosaur'. Either girls night in went terribly wrong or terribly right.
You called me a pussy and continued to eat an entire jar of peanut butter with only your hand.
I realized I used a copy of a biography of JFK as pillow last night...
Happy Fourth.
He made me choke him and call him Papi..so all in all a good night.
On a happier note, I can fit in my old shorts. Dope does have its perks
I wonder how many people saw me whip my junk out and bang it on the light post in front of holabird bar and liquors last night. I'm about tired of having to do that.
Nobody saw you except the people in the bar, because you weren't outside. You were inside, and you were smacking it on the mens bathroom door handle
I really hate whoever invented fireball.
You yelled "Shame!" like you were that bitch from Game of Thrones and then hit my balls full force with your sports bra
Randomize
