Heybabeimwearingurpanties
the way she shouted out instructions during sex made me feel like I was having sex with my gym teacher
I just saw a commercial for God of War and heard the nickname he gave my vagina.
Topless bubble bath with a lesbian is debatable as a gay experience.
He asked if I had feelings for him while I was lying naked on the floor vomiting into a trashcan as he held my hair and fed me Pringles.
We found you wrapped up in a tarp in the garage the next morning, thats how real shit got.
She complimented my boobs and then told me I smelled like teddy bears before falling asleep on the floor.
If I could run through a field of Reece's and Oreos, dive off a milkfall into a bowl of cereal. My Life would complete.
i mean i'm drinking free wine with lesbians and listening to sinead oconnor so i'm not sure who won that breakup
We kinda got asked to leave the strip club and on the way out, you fell again. When you finally got up we got a standing ovation from the girls behind the bar and you took a bow. It was awesome.
How my distance relationship is going: he's trying to sext me & I'm stuffing pizza in my face.
You KNOW it was a good night when you find French fries AND taco remnants in your bra when you get home...
Orgasms and cereal.... that's what life's about.
I just realized I'm having shark week, during shark week.
I wasn’t trying, but work got a lot easier and more fun once he starred flirting with me and looking at my ass
Randomize
