Okay just took the preggers test..and im NOT! :)
awesome babe! drinks tonight!
Wait does the happy face mean yes? fuck.
So ps i'm not pregnant with any athletes illegitimate children : )
but the lizard people decide everything anyway
found a new level of pathetic. i watched a guy pick out cigarette butts from a jar that weren't completely finished. make sure you go somewhere in life.
Then you got really excited when I upgraded you from puke bowl to puke bucket.
Seriously, it was like sucking my thumb.. and im not even saying that to be spiteful b/c he is a really nice guy.
So he said if we had sex he'd take me to Build A Bear. My virginity is so worth a trip to build a bear.
You're 20.
IT'S BUILD A BEAR!
No, when he said that he wished he had my eyebrows, THATS when I knew he was gay.
My sister was not impressed when she got here. I was standing in the doorway in my underwear drinking a beer. At 2pm. On a Monday.
And I would just like to take the time to say my boobs look great today.
Dude. Cab ride home consisted of me making out with an Asian girl sitting next to my Dad
Fuck you come back. The old guy next to me is complementing me on my great choice of ring fingers,
If tits could talk, mine would be bragging
You know, I think when I have a lot of free time, thats when I pick up odd lovers. Maybe keeping busy is key to not using my vagina
Just keep me informed about your plans. That way i can figure out places to go and if i need to shave my balls
Randomize
