I just know... :) goodntight
Whoops, meant "goodnight", but the other is true too.
just found the deal breaker
hairy back?
he can't live within 1000 ft of a school
Can we progress our friendship to a point where i'm at least granted a blowjob allowance?
she used her one phone call to ask me about my day
since when did our medecine drawer and our sex drawer become the same drawer? we now have lube covered cough drops.
Pretty sure I was rubbing Halloween candy all over my face and saying "these are my bitches."
He was in the middle of making out with two girls at once, but then the guy next to me said "I feel like I'm watching Animal Planet" he stopped to give him a high five
The drag queen we did coke with is going to be on Ru Paul's drag race. I feel so proud.
Looking through my moms phone and find a pic if a dick. Scarred for life.
I repeat do not go to a jail visit drunk, those stools are easy to fall off.
It's now officially the Christmas season, so I have no shame in drinking evernog.
I have 3 bottles of vodka in my room telling me not to go to work tomorrow.
he was just sitting there in his underwear... and his chewbacca mask...
She said cowgirls can can pee standing up and proceeded to pull up her dress and drop her underwear.
That chick keeps sending eggplant emojis
Welcome to dating in the digital age. Better catch up now that you’re divorced
and eggplant is code for penis. It means she’s DTF. Go get her tiger!!!
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