Where is the hickey?
i broke up with my boyfriend last night because i had to eat a freezy pop in every color and he ate the last blue one. i sat on the floor and cried for an hour at least. everyone left. so i decided that this whole weed thing isnt really healthy for my relationships.
I'm at the bass pro shop. They have a river full of trout and turtles, a shooting range, a full bar, and the patriots cheerleaders are here. I now understand why people are rednecks. I may never leave
he opened the microwave and beer cans poured out
Hey.. there are 2 people i've never met before spooning in the bathtub. Please elaborate on what went down last night.
idk, it started getting weird when they were looking up videos of lesbian giraffes
I actually bought food at McDonald's as an apology for what I was about to do to their bathroom.
Btw, do you want me to fix this with a box of wine and a chick flick or is this more of a 'lets head to the strip club' problem? I'm just trying to analyze the emotional depth of the situation.
I no longer exist. I have transformed into a puddle of sex.
Still trying to figure out where I was when someone broke the lawn chair and put it in the bathroom.
My mom just told me not to dance on any tables on Halloween...I'm choosing to take that statement as a joke
I think I puked in the middle of sex last night if that's any indication as to how drunk I was.
I think I found my saving grace in the form of a beard at the bar.
I got wing sauce on the baby and licked it off. If you were wondering how I'm doing.
I am so so sorry I bit your butt last night. Twice.
Randomize
