His facebook status was woke up with a whale ..... Captain AHAB IS BACK !!!!!
Can I get a DUI with a shopping cart? I've nearly hit 2 displays and little girl...
False alarm it was margarita mix all over my hands not blood
for once, the $56 i am about to pay for plan b was actually worth the sex.
So it looks like you may be an uncle real soon. Don't ask how I feel about it and don't text me back.
I'm just saying; the box truck will cost less then dorms or rent, and we can always crash where the party is.
My exam ends at 4pm so I plan to be passed out in the bar by 5pm. Want to join me?
I think if you have sex on the couch it will psychologically damage it.
Happy Halloween!! Last Halloween we spent together you got brought home in a shopping cart
Idk I wanna make it till midnight but I also want tequila
Wow I got tittyfucked by the American Dream
Just had an orgasim to the Star Spangled Banner so.. it was all worth it.
do you think mom is upset that i left with the stripper from her bachelorette party last night?
I just found a contact in my phone named "Nick from The Party". Who's nick?
There. There is gum on my butt cheek IT IS NOT MINE
Randomize
