she told me she had a boyfriend but the alcohol told me she didn't
I was so drunk last night, I had to Wikipedia what i did.
If Jon and Kate can get divorced...how hard can it be for me?
um i just went through the in-n-out drive thru and meant to ask for my cheeseburger animal style. turns out what i actually said was, can i get that cheeseburger doggy style? been a rough weekend.
chipotle is closed for thanksgiving... I am officially thankful for NOTHING.
I think i lit a firework with a joint. happy birthday, america?
what the fuck is a social media consultant, who does she consult for, and how bad is she at it? her facebook account is currently hacked and posting ads for the ipad 2 on my newsfeed
Doing the walk of shame at 1 AM. Stumbled across a rave. This night is epic.
No, supporting your unemployed boyfriend IS NOT what credit cards are for.
just had sex in my dorm hall public bathroom while wearing my favorite cat sweater. tonight was a win
You're about wine.
Yes, I'm like 90% wine at the moment
To this day, I regret not having sex in the bathroom
I don't like pregnant me. I eat very large burritos, I don't like having sex and I can't even finish a Blue Moon.
I called him Oliver all night
His name is Brandon
Dude... Those don't even start with the same letter...
Dude i just passed out while getting head...she cried
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