Ok let's jusst not talk today bc then we'll just do dangerous things but I'll say hello
tell your sister to shave her snatch
dude i just figured out that the tostitos sign is two people eating chips and salsa. being high totally pays off sometimes
just found out i fit into magnum condums. this is going to be the best weekend ever
I'd suck anything for a pizza right now
I think this breakup is Gods way of telling me I deserve a bigger dick
i figure now that we're number one party school im obligated to black out at least 4 days a week. andddd go.
karaoke mosh pit has descended into fisticuffs, send backup
She just had to change the song on the radio cause I was tap dancing on her windshield
I tried to stop that, but then I pulled the leaves out of my panties and went to sleep.
she broke up with me the week she got divorced. maybe I should grab a beer with her ex
Last night turned out to be an expensive trip to your house between the ticket and the plan b. (Well I haven't gotten that yet)
At least I got steroids and a baguette out of the deal
Hypothetically - think of it as Schrodinger's blow-job.
Remember the random guy who licked my face when we were at the bar the other night?
Yeah. His name is Andrew. We just met
Randomize
