Thanks for last night it was amazing as always
What are you talking about
You've got to be kidding me
This is some kinda fucked up sordid doggy brothel peepshow bullshit.
Omg. Budweiser tramp-stamp sighting @ Wal-mart. Best tattoo EVAR.
I feel like our bond is deeper now that we're both sleeping with married men. now we're really bffls
i just overheard a girl at the next table saying she gave up sex for lent
don't you ever do that...
all i care about is the story behind my toaster ending up in the microwave
I just had some guy offer to eat me out on my lunch break... I think single life is getting better everyday
I wouldn't blame my organs if they just decided to quit working after this weekend
iphones do not disturb setting is the biggest cock block to my 3am booty calls
We got to the hotel at 12AM with nothing but a plastic bag of magnum condoms and lube, while wearing glow sticks. The receptionist handed us a bunch of water bottles and said "These are on us.", not even phased by three dudes about to have a threesome. I love this town.
You know you're hung-over when you're smoking and have the strong urge to eat the cigarette. No more buckets of gin. No. More. Ever.
We had sex last night...... This "Friends" thing is going well.
Not sure if I should ask if I can have my underwear back or just avoid that all together.
Ate 5 hotdogs today. You need to get me back on my tequila diet cause this shit has to stop!
No clue what you did last night, sorry. You did hand me a pizza and a mason jar with $1200 in small bills in it when I let you in though.
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