Discovered the coffee filter hasn't been changed in a while. I believe the mold has hypnotic properties. Would try it again, but coffee vomit is not pleasant.
found the other keg... it's in the tree
i'm transferring to degrassi. i don't care that it's severely canadian. classes are five minutes long, there's no actual work and you can get oot of class whenever you want to go have a dramatic scene with someone in the hall
Just made nachos out of string cheese and sunchips and laying in my bed watching babay einstion..get on my level
I dont think a "sorry ive slept with most of your teammates" text will do much
I feel like our lives always have been and always will be a never ending drunken rampage full of pregnancy scares and lost brain cells
1) I'm a decent drunk texter. 2) My world is spinning. 3) I'll give you a dollar and a hug for a glass of water. 4) I love you. 5) Example: your penatrive ways are overwhelming my alternative lyfestyle. 6) That is all.
7) Noodle arms: engage
The example was me just using big words while hammered. You're welcome. Ambidextrious. I spelled it right.
You ate my pie without asking. So don't get butt hurt if I send you link to plus size clothing stores.
His dad and I had a drunk conversation about life. At 4 am he told me that I was 21 and cute and should fuck whoever I want.
This is either the best idea i've ever had or the worst. stay tuned.
If my vagina was a person it would have a bandage around its head and it's arm in a sling rn
Don't get mad at me now, you have my car and all the doughnuts
Be there in a sec. We have to stop at Target to buy her underwear first.
So some guy thought I took second place in a male stripper competition
I ripped ass in on and around her face during a hard 69. I don't think she'll ever call me again.
Randomize
