I convinced her last night that my actual nickname was "No Condom John"
everyone who works at gamestop is basically destined to live with their parents for the rest of their lives... so i said no.
i dont know what it was but it was definately NOT a vagina
i woke up to find out i googled the Twilight Eclipse trailer. so either drunk me doesn't know that i'm straight, or sober me doesn't know that i'm gay
at last call she tried to get the bartender to fill her flask. when he refused, i had to stop her from trying to pour the rest of her beer in there.
When I start puking tomorrow, just let me be. it'll start around 8:35. just let me heave. i love this part of my morning.
just printed out my drug dealers resume for him. guess the ecstasy scene slows down when kids move back home for the summer...
For the amount of money I just spent on my dogs toe, I could have fucked the entire B squad at a low end strip club.
Check 'smoke weed with our ihop waiter' off of our To-Do List
SOMEONE WITH THE TWITTER HANDLE "METHLAB" FAVORITED THAT PICTURE
Justin just used the term "industrial strength colon blow".
I had to get my boss birth control a work today. I knew going to ASU would come in handy in my career someday.
Life should not be this hard with a dick this big.
If you don't respond in the next 30min, I'm going to assume your in a sex coma, in jail, or dead... All of which I've become accustomed to, and will follow the appropriate channels of notification once you notify me.
My parents left me the house for the weekend...you know what that means?!
Harry Potter marathon and no pants.
Randomize
