the roller ball on my blackberry is the closest i've come to touching a clit in 2 years.
I'm more concerned as to why he has a playlist entitled Dem Club Beats.
i just taught a 3 year ld how to do a jager bomb, i cant wait to have kids
He sent me a pic and IT CURVED OUT OF THE PICTURE! Curved. Out. Of. The. Picture.
She didn't talk for 45 minutes. We finally convinced her to open her mouth. There was a flower in there.
I'm eating my emotions. I am no longer interested in anybody other than my own hand and vagina.
I know. But whatever I'll just eat cold pizza and play with my cats by candlelight
Oh I was gonna ask you the same thing...? It's official ask anyone to see your husbands dick day.
Whatever. I am not explaining the physics of my dick slapping.
The fact that it was "anything but a cup" now explains the cowboy boots and fishbowl aftermath at the apartment.
I'm going to smell of sex and shame.
How is that different than any other Monday night?
Remember that guy that walked around our house naked with a boner wearing nothing but his winter coat? Well, he has a kid now.
I don't think we should let her have pot anymore. She ate an entire package of bacon half-cooked and screamed that it was al-dente.
First aid class means get dry humped by moderately attractive college students during heimlich maneuver training.
Dont care about too tired for sex, thank you for leaving your laser pointer. I have now determined both my cats are stupid.
Randomize
