I just watched a guy get turned down by a prostitute
He had personality for days, but cock for only minutes
I will fuck a handful of worms if you hold them
9 beers later and she still looks like Gary Busey.
I know i should have focused more on what you were saying in the text rather than the fact you spelt "suicidal" wrong
sick fucks of a feather flock together
I'm pretty sure "tag teaming" and "looking for stability" are not synonymous.
Not yet.
Plus, I've always wanted to drive in rush hour with a huge cock drawn on my hood
Can't a woman sleep on the floor in her own apartment in peace without being judged?
His cat watched us the ENTIRE time. Every time I glanced over the poor kitty looked at me as if I were pelvic thrusting her father to death.
WHO THE FUCK PEED IN MY BONG
Well. I mean as excuses for running late go, 'losing track of time in the bathhouse' has gotta be up there on the top ten.
Was I drunk or did Alex not show up with 100 rainbow Jell-O shots?
Currently having to re-watch episodes of Lost that I've only partially seen because you distracted me with your vagina
She doesn't even give a fuck about angle. I seriously gotta start doing like penis yoga or something.
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